I don’t like to bring up politics on my blog, but bear with me a second—I just want to make a point. There are a lot of people out there with very strong opinions. People who aren’t interested in considering another viewpoint. It’s a little strange and frightening. And it got me thinking about how we approach dating. Are we intolerant of anyone who doesn’t measure up to our standards, or who doesn’t fit into our ideal?

I read an article last week about a study done among singles at 84 different speed dating events. The study found that the larger the event, the worse we become at making informed decisions. Basically, we just don’t want to put in the effort of assessing a potential date past how much they weigh and what they look like. However, at the smaller events, people gave consideration to other qualities, like occupation and education.

Apparently, our brains shut off past a certain point because we just can’t take in too much information. So, is there TOO much choice out there? Because we’re able to go online and filter out the qualities that we don’t like, do we feel as though there is always somebody else who is going to be better? I have to wonder if we are looking at people as only one-dimensional beings. We put them in boxes, much like the talk show hosts put political leaders in boxes.

I’m guilty of this. It makes for better stories when people can be summed up and discarded so quickly. It’s easier to move on to the next. But it doesn’t help us in our search. Instead of adding more and more qualities to our “I don’t want them because of…” list, try flipping the thought and noting what you do like about your date. Tolerance helps us move past our differences and get to some common ground. It sounds simple, but that shift can change everything.